Gertcha - Chas & Dave
Now there's a word that I don't understand
I hear it every day from my old man
It may be Cockney rhyming slang
It ain't in no school book
He says it every time that he gets mad
A regular caution is my old dad
Rub the old man up the wrong way
Bet your life you'll hear him say
Gertcha cowson gertcha
Gertcha
When the kids are swinging on the gate
Gertcha
When the paperboy's half an hour late
Gertcha
When the pigeons are pecking at his seed
Gertcha
When the farmer starts digging up his weeds
Gertcha cowson gertcha
Bar stool preaching
That's the old man's game
Now the old man was a Desert Rat
Khaki shorts and a khaki hat
How me mother could have fancied that
I just don't know
But when the enemy came in sight
They gave up without a fight
They rubbed him up the wrong way
This is what they heard him say
Gertcha cowson gertcha
Gertcha
When me rock and roll records wake him up
Gertcha
When the Poles knock England out of the cup
Gertcha
When the kids are banging on his door
Gertcha
When the barman won't serve him any more
Gertcha cowson gertcha
Bar stool preaching
He's always been the same
Gertcha cowson gertcha
Gertcha
When the dog's left a message on the step
Gertcha
Lester Piggott when he lost it by a neck
Gertcha
When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes
Gertcha
When the houseflies are flying round his food
Gertcha cowson gertcha
Bar stool preaching
He's always been the same
Gertcha
Gertcha
Gertcha
Gertcha
Gertcha
When me mother says he can't go down the pub
Gertcha
Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club
Gertcha
When the tomcats when they're kicking up a din
Gertcha
Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in
Gertcha
When me mother locks him out of the flat
Gertcha
When it's raining and he can't find his hat
Gertcha
In the mornings when his motorcar won't go
Gertcha
Next-door neighbour when he won't give him a tow
Gertcha
Gertcha
Gertcha
Gertcha