Bernadette

　　I don't want to leave Bernadette

　　But I don't want to live with the jet set

　　I don't want to leave with you payin' all my debts

　　With that alimony palimony whatever it is you get

　　Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

　　You've never done a day's work in your life

　　You've got no incentive

　　You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with

　　Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

　　I can't get a job Bernadette

　　So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts

　　If you marry me Bernadette

　　You'll lose the alimony palimony whatever it is you get

　　Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

　　You've never done a day's work in your life

　　You've got no incentive

　　You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with

　　Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

　　Ooh Bernadette Bernadette

　　Ooh Bernadette Bernadette

　　Bernadette's got a house in the country

　　She's really got it made

　　Her lawyers made her filthy rich

　　She's got all expenses paid

　　Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away

　　Then you'll eat him all up

　　And spit him out

　　With a dash of Perrier

　　And when you've had enough

　　You'll throw him away

　　And take him for all you can get

　　Yeah you like it don't you Bernadette

　　I don't want to leave Bernadette

　　But I want to keep a little bit of self respect

　　I don't want to leave with you paying all my debts

　　With that alimony palimony whatever it is you get

　　Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

　　You've never done a day's work in your life

　　You've got no incentive

　　Women like you oughta be locked up