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natalie‘s rap

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the lonely island
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2017-01-02

  The Lonely Island - natalie's rap

  ★ lrc 編輯 妙一法師

  We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

  Hello.

  So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

  Do you really want to know?

  Parnell

  Yes, tell us...

  I don't sleep, motherfucker

  Off that yak and durban

  Doin' 120 gettin' head while I'm swervin'

  Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick

  Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick

  I bust in dudes' mouth like gushers, motherfucker

  Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker

  What you want, Natalie?

  To drink and fight

  What you need, Natalie?

  To fuck all night

  Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue

  Put my foot down your throat

  Till your shit's in my shoe

  Leave you screaming

  Pay for my dry cleaning

  Fuck your man

  It's my name that he's screamin'

  I’m sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?

  I never said I was a role model.

  What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

  All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my dick

  It's Portman, motherfucker

  Drink till I'm sick

  Slit your throat

  And pour nitrous down the hole

  Watch you laugh and cry

  While I laugh, you die

  And all the dudes

  You know I'm talkin' to you

  We love you, Natalie

  I wanna fuck you, too

  P is for Portman

  P is for pussy!

  I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun

  So don't push me

  Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.

  Well there's a lot you may not know about me.

  Really? Such as?

  When I was in Harvard

  I smoked weed every day

  I cheated every test

  And snorted all the yay

  I gotta a def posse

  And you gotta buncha dudes

  I sit right down on your face and take a shit

  Natalie you are a bad ass biiiiiiiitch (hell yeah!)

  And I always pay for your dry cleanin

  When my shit gets in your shoe (What!?)

  As for the drug use

  Well, I can vouch for that

  My dick is scared of you, girl

  Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–

  No more questions

  End

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