Steven-Jake Miller
Yeah, look
Let me tell you about
a kid named Steven
He's slowly running out
of things to believe in
Every couple of months
his mom leaves him,
for no good reason
his step-dad beats him
Not too many friends,
only ever had a few of them,
but recently they don't want
anything to do with him
Always eating lunch
in the bathroom stall,
he just wants to feel normal
and be cool again, yeah
Always feeling like the outcast,
he's been going crazy
ever since his dad passed
He needs guidance
and advice but instead
he only has breakdowns
and flashbacks of the car crash uh
It's been getting harder everyday,
if he was still around
everything would be ok
Cuz his dad was always the light
at the end of the tunnel,
but now that same damn tunnel
is looking dark and grey
He keeps quiet in the back of the class
and when the bell rings
Steven hurries home fast
scared to death the other kids
will kick his ass on the long walk home
cuz its happened in the past so
He's getting used to
the black eyes and fat lips
but all he's got is a fake smile and cut wrists
Wishin' he could walk right up to them
and show them the scars
and say look you're the reason
that I've done this
Maybe they would finally understand
and go back to how it was before it all began
But he's just a little different
so they taunt him and they beat him
Yeah it's all just fun and games,
they don't give a damn, yeah
His older brother ain't around,
in and out of jail,
hanging with the wrong crowd
He's been doing coke, smoking weed,
getting drunk all his life he's a shame
no, he's not too proud
Now his habits are rubbing off
on his little bro yeah,
but guess what?
Little did he know
that everytime he did a line,
everytime he lit a joint,
everytime he took a shot
he was sippin mode
So Steven's sitting in his room
getting high now
Doors locked, music up,
with his lights out
He just takes another tote
til his room fills with smoke
5-6-7 hours til he knocks out
Now he started stealing pills from his mom
8-9-10 at a time and now they're gone
and maybe for a moment
all his problems seem to fade,
but the high fades too after not too long
and that's when it really sinks in
and that's when it hits him
that these god damn drugs won't fix him
Curled up on the floor,
can't take it anymore
Now he's talking to God
cuz he's the only one that gets him
On his knees, looking up,
can't stop crying
"God I know we haven't talked in a long time
but this time I really need you.
Please God help me, say something
just give me a sign,
because now I'm falling apart and
I don't think that I can do it.
Please God, give me the strength
to pull through it. Tell me,
Should I give up?
I could end it all right now.
I just don't know
if I'm brave enough to do it.
Cuz there's gotta
be a better way than suicide.
Try to wait it out,
give it time, you'll be fine.
But it's been so long
and I still haven't been able to get rid
of all the thoughts that I feel inside.
So sick, so angry, so mad
and to top it off no one even knows that"
That's when he stood up,
wiped his tears,
walked over to his desk
and got a a pen and notepad
He just couldn't see it getting any better
So on a cold dark night in December,
Steven knew exactly
what he had to do
But first he sat down
and wrote a couple letters
One to his step-dad,
one to his mother,
couple to the kids at school,
one to his brother
Bringing them the pain
that they once brought him
tear drops on the paper one after another
Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty.
Cuz I'm broken now
and you can't heal me
And now you're all an accompliss in murder
each and every one of you
has chipped in to kill me
So the reason that
I'm writing you this evening,
is to say goodbye
and to tell you that leavingI'm
But don't hold your breath
cuz I ain't never coming back
Sincerely yours, Steven