I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes
Lately I really, feel like I'm rolling for ___ like Philly,
I feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely,
I apologize if all that I sound like, is I'm complaining,
But life keeps on complicating, an' I'm debating,
On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls,
Can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it,
But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty,
When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help.
I can't do it by myself, too weak, 2 weeks I've been having ups and downs,
Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,
Around with the idea, of ending the shit right here.
I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryin' to fight mirrors,
I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?
I give a fuck, only thing I fear, is Hailie,
I'm afraid if I close my eyes I might see her,
Shit..
I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes
I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, nappin' at noon,
Yeah dad's in a bad mood, he's always snappin' at you.
Marshall what happened at you, you can't stop with these pills,
And you've fallen off with your skills, and your own fans are laughin' at you.
It become a problem you're too pussy to tackle, get up,
Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled.
Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed,
They say Proof just flipped out, homie just swift out and bust,
Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that,
He wouldn't fuckin' shoot at, no-body, he fights first,
But dwellin' on it only makes the night worse,
Now I'm poppin Vic's, perks and Methadone pills.
Yeah Em, tight verse, you killed it,
Fuckin' drug dealers hang around me like "yes man",
And they gon' do whatever I says when, I says it,
It's in their best interest to protect their investment.
And I just lost my fuckin' best friend, so fuck it, I guess then...
I'm going through changes
Don't know what I'm going through, but I just keep on going through changes...
My friends just can't understand this new me,
That's understandable man, but just think how bananas you'd be,
You'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo.
And everybody's lookin' at you, what you want me to do,
I'm startin' to live like a recluse and the truth is,
Fame startin' to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low.
I sit alone in my home theatre, watchin' the same damn DVD,
Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive.
And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleepin' pills'll make me feel alright.
And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night,
I just take a couple more, yeah you're motherfuckin' right,
I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound.
Almost in a coma, yeah homie come on, don't look now,
Daddy, don't you die on me, daddy, better hold your ground.
Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice,
Yeah baby hold me down.
I'm going through changes
Don't know what I'm going through, but I just keep on going through changes...
Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes, plus somehow I'm pullin' through.
Swear when I come back I'ma be bulletproof.